Cultural correction of inter-gender relationship

by manualformen

Throughout history, various ethnicities lived in various conditions, and each ethnicity followed its own path. The path taken depended on factors such as genetic composition, environment conditions and neighboring ethnicities. But the main factor that determined the development vector was the cultural and religious mechanism to compensate for the animalistic instincts. The ethnicities with a primitive compensation system peaked quickly, and then disappeared. Others, with a more advanced system, formed powerful states, and then disappeared, too, when the society grew out of the cultural and religious mechanism like a child grows out of his clothes. The third type reached a certain level and then stagnated without change. The fourth type did not develop at all and still live tribal life style on territories stronger societies did not want, a museum of evolutionary dead ends which exhibits structures as exotic as real matriarchies. The result of thousands of years of natural selection, the evolutionary struggle not between individuals, but between the compensation mechanisms, is the plethora of cultures that exist on the planet today. Attempts to destroy sexual marketplace and to prevent female domination notwithstanding, and noo matter how different, every culture, every society first and foremost serves the women and women’s child bearing function. The women are always placed in the safest and warmest place. The countless cults of motherhood, traditions, religious taboos, laws, government’s medical and social programs, upbringing children to respect and protect women — all serves women, their safety and well-being first. Children come second. I.e. in every society, in every country, no matter what the holy books have to say about the male superiority, no matter what the constitution — the supreme law of the land — has to say about equality, a woman is de-facto the most privileged unit of that society. And even though a man does not owe her much as a citizens, he invariably owes her a lot more than she owes him as a man (to take care), as a reservist (to protect), as a husband and a father of children (to provide). This is embedded in laws, consolidated by legal precedents, and fixed by cultural tradition. Contradictions with equality as written in the country’s constitution do not bother anyone. But, in order to avoid the disastrous matriarchy, balanced societies invariably gives men some advantages to counterbalance women’s privileges, some additional rights. Here are some of them:

1. Physical impact.

While a natural biological advantage of a woman over a man is her ability to manipulate him via various emotional tricks and her sexual attractiveness, the man’s advantage is physical strength. In most balanced cultures moderate application of force by man to a woman is encouraged. In a traditional patriarchal Russian family it was customary to “teach” the wife, there even was a dedicated lash in the household, called “goose” (female fool). Still, female domination was difficult to oppose, and women didn’t mind to, having subdued the husband, apply the physical force themselves. That had to be countered on a level outside of a family, and the responsbility was, as usual, put on the church. In twelfth century Russia, if a wife was beating her husband, it was the husband that was punished — according to the church law of the time, he had to pay some 600 grams of silver (something around ,000 — silver was worth a lot more before the discovery of the New World, direct conversion to today’s price is difficult).

Beating, it was thought, strengthens the family. Today, we can explain why — the female instinct makes to woman to constantly provoke her husband, to measure his rank, psychological fitness and to attempt domination inversion. If the man gives up his position, the instinct identifies him as a low-rank, non-viable, genetically inadequate male, turns the love off and makes the woman to search for another male-progenitor. If the man resists, responding with physical aggression to an emotional one, the female instinct identifies him as strong, genetically adequate, whose genes have to be propagated. This explains the widely spread “paradoxical” situation, when a husband beats his wife, yet she loves him.

2. Relationship regulations.

The cultural tradition determined the entire path a relationship should take, the entire ritual of new pair bonding, including the choosing, matchmaking, engagement, courting and wedding. After a pair has formed, their relationship was still regulated, although less tightly. The woman’s role in the family unit was being a top manager of the household. Man had to fulfill the functions on the outside of the family and to do the strategic planning.

The “Good wife instructions” from the “Housekeeping Monthly” have been making rounds all over the net for years. Here is an older version, from “The Proverbs”, chapter 31:

Religiousness was a very valuable quality of a woman in any balanced culture. It allowed the woman to resist her animalistic instinctive desires. Instead of provoking her husband and looking for violent blockhead-progenitor on the side, a god fearing woman is a partner and comrade of her husband in the struggle for well-being of the family and in raising children.

Texts similar to the ones we mentioned, which assign a man external functions of provider and protector, and assign a woman the internal functions of reproduction and support, are found in practically every culture. This is a technical documentation of inner workings of a society that evolved and survived over thousand of years, a technology of maximum effectiveness, given the biological realities of a human pair (see image 6). An employee handbook about the relationship between a man and a woman as partners in their family enterprise.

3. Educational system.

Gender segregation of children, their preparation for the gender functions they will be assigned after reaching adulthood, also was a natural counter balance of a matriarchy. Girls were prepared for the internal functions. And the best place to learn such functions is the house, where, with adult women as example, the girls received the necessary skills to keep the household running, and just as necessary skills to manipulate men. Boys were taught their external function outside the house. In a peasant family, the father took his sons in the field, a merchant took them to his office. Or, the son received education in a specially designed institution (school, gymnasium, university). Gender spheres of competence were defined by the preparation. Maximum effectiveness was achieved when boys were educated out of women’s influence completely and with all teachers being men. We already mentioned Sparta as an example of success, another example is Great Britain, an island state which successfully competed with land countries that had a lot more resources. In both countries, the boys were raised to become active and responsible leaders of their family hierarchies. Graduation was a ritual that switched the mid-rank instincts on. The marriage ritual positioned a man as a leader of his family hierarchy and was meant to turn on the leader’s instinct.

4. Owning and managing property.

Most cultures (not all) only allowed men to inherit property. That made gave men opportunities to make decisions and to control the situation in his sphere of competence, to be a responsible leader, which controls his lair, hierarchy and territory, rather than an unaccountable servant to the woman and her children. it was still man’s responsibility to adequately support the woman — women uber alles. Furthermore, there was a sort of female insurance fund which was paid for either by the father or by the husband (dowry), and in case of divorce, the woman was legally entitled to a portion of it. In cultures, where the man gets all the property after divorce with the exception of jewelry and personal women’s things, the husband was required to gift his wife golden jewelry (or to pay for them). A woman was never left in grievance. Until the advent and spread of rentier capitalism, women did not claim to have any more property rights, for any sort of property required hard work to keep and maintain. It was a lot more advantageous for a woman to position herself as very valuable property of a man, a property which man should pamper, nurture and protect.

Finally, it is against biological nature of a leader to leave his pack, his lair and territory. It strengthened life long marriages when it is man who owns and manages property.

5. Political and social activity also traditionally lied in the men’s sphere of competence. However, women could still affect the societal structure through their husbands. And, the rule had exceptions — there are plenty of empresses, queens, businesswomen, etc in recorded history. During medieval, every aristocrat’s wife was a boss of an agro-business. Just like property management, this was not a male privilege, but a male function to represent interests of the family of clan, a responsibility.

6. The higher class of a society, by definition, was richer, enjoyed greater safety and satiety levels. Since there was more at stake, the women’s desire to dominate was stronger, and the upper class had to invent additional marriage traditions to counter female domination. For example, the tradition for men to marry after thirty — a man has to be mature, successful, more confident and older to avoid ending up under the heel. Honeymoon tradition, which took the newlyweds to a place the wife had no friends and acquaintances, more or less guaranteed that the first child, which will inherit the property, will be conceived from the husband, rather than from a lover. Then, there is virginity cult — a young girl, which had no men had no chance to become an angry bitch from relationship failures and which had no experience dominating a man, always had a high value. Virginity also guarantees that the girl is not pregnant from another man.

7. Special attention was paid to the free sexual marketplace, as the most dangerous for a society manifestation of primitive pack firmware. Every balanced soceity combated the sexual provocation. Even in the most primitive of societies, both genders at least cover their genital areas. Some went as far as covering the entire bodies, and even women’s faces. There was always a plethora of religious and traditional taboos, feminine modesty was encouraged, harlotry was condemned. Marriage was a life long endeavor. Adultery, too, was condemned. The purpose was to make the women’s firmware to work not in the mode designed for dealing with a high number of low-rank males, but in the mode for dealing with the leader. There was a clear leader for the program — her husband, the head of household, of small hierarchy. If a woman were to provoke all the men she encounters, that would lead to conflicts, deaths, irrational use of resources, and, finally, to the society not being competitive. Put simply, men would, instead of doing something useful, spend all their time and resources earning sex and fighting with each other.

All described above was put in place and controlled by religion — the major mechanism to suppress and compensate for the animalistic instincts — and served to limit and impede the spread of female domination across the entire society, thus preventing it from degrading and dying. It prevented women, which were placed in the most advantageous spot near the household’s fireplace, from taking over and turning a society into a matriarchy. Naturally, women didn’t even imagine to argue against such an organization, they did not yearn to go to war and fight, nor to swing a pickaxe in a mine, nor to hunt a man-eating tiger, not to navigate a heavy sea in a fragile craft. The hardest and most difficult functions — to provide and to protect — were delegated to men. Men were positioned as active and responsible leaders of family hierarchies, which made them, and society at large, maximally effective.

So. Our biological species has formed when people lived in small communities — a family, a small tribe. Our ingrained instincts are programs, behavioral stereotypes for survival in such small groups surrounded by wild, dangerous nature. Extremely fast (on biological time scale) growth, expansion and strengthening of human communities, which was a consequence of advances in material culture and technologies, put the human in conditions they are not fit for — safety and satiety of a large society. Humans did not have the time to adapt to the new conditions via evolutionary means, via selection of useful qualities and behavioral elements and fixing them in the ingrained instincts. Humans adapted by inventing cultural tradition, that was doubled by religion. Destruction of the cultural tradition and religion leads to ancient instincts conflicting with needs of society. As the result, the society loses stability and dies, the remnants are consumed by the neighbors.

In inter-gender relationships, the compensation of animalistic instincts is limiting the the female domination and formation of pack-style sexual marketplace.

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